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Online dating sociology

Sure, there are always exceptions, but from where I sit, at least when you are really looking for a potential long-term relationship, being specific--even to the point where some people will get their noses out of joint after reading your profile--the better your chance of meeting someone suited to you.

For instance, for the first few tries I went with a nice generic friendly profile that I hoped would appeal to as many people as possible--thinking it was a numbers game. But I wound up spending a lot of the limited free time I had going on dates with people who were clearly not for me just because they were also non-specific about what they wanted and they seemed friendly enough.

After a while I started to notice what bugged me and what I liked online and I tailored my profile to fit that. Right away I got hate letters from a few people who thought my ego was out of control and I thought, "Good, that rules that guy out. A few people wrote to tell me they thought my profile was hilarious or refreshing and that it was nice to read something besides, "I like to laugh and hold hands during long walks on the beach.

Who doesn't like the beach probably lots of people but no one I've ever met, anyways? The letter that really grabbed my attention was one that declared, "No one is smarter than me!

Love and dating after the Tinder revolution - BBC News

When I discovered that his quick wit was evident even during instant chat sessions, I was hooked there were some guys I came across who obviously slaved over opening letters and some of them were amusing, but they came off as too Tip don't waste time chatting online for months--you should find out if the chemistry is there face to face sooner than later. Mister Smarty-Pants and I met later the same week first exchanged introductions. We had chemistry and thanks to our "warts and all" profiles, we also had a pretty good idea of what we could talk about on our first date so that neither of us would bore the other to death in the first half hour.

We quickly moved onto new topics and discovered a shared love for singing along to cheesy Duran Duran songs, Blondie, Mexican food, red wine, Lost marathons, "thinking about" quitting smoking and making out whenever the opportunity presented itself. We were married 8 months later. I could have spent that time going on lots of bland dates with perfectly nice guys only to discover 3 dates in that those guys were terrible spellers NOOOOOO! I could have invested my time in someone who "seems nice enough" only to learn that my slightly sarcastic nature was either off-putting or totally confusing to him.

I spent one date back in the generic profile days listening to a guy talk non-stop about his decision to buy a John Deere power-mower and his love of John's Grisham's lesser known works, so I truly understand how slow time can move when you're making small talk with Mister Totally Not Right.

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That's time you can never get back. Forget little white lies. Be specific--tell people right off the bat what you just can't tolerate along with what you're really looking for, and save everyone involved a whole lot of precious time. Don't talk yourself into trying to find something you like in someone's profile just because you think you should. Dating should not feel like attempting to incorporate more raw greens into your diet--it's not something you should give the old college try--it's supposed to be fun!

Be proud of what makes you unique and go ahead and provide your peculiarities right alongside your selling points. The worst thing that will happen is you'll narrow the field down to actual contenders. Then you can go ahead and Google those contenders to make sure there aren't any current warrants out for their arrests--and once that's out of the way, all you have to do is spend time with someone who has the actual potential to make you feel all warm and squishy inside. Someone besides your gynecologist or the cashier at McDonalds, I mean.

Sociological Images encourages people to exercise and develop their sociological imaginations with discussions of compelling visuals that span the breadth of sociological inquiry. Men, for example, tend to exaggerate their height; women tend to exaggerate their thinness: She is the author of American Hookup , a book about college sexual culture, and a textbook about gender. You can follow her on Twitter , Facebook , and Instagram. Comments 46 Blue Wizard — May 7, I'm not keen on how the axes are structured, to highlight differences between stated importance and correlation.

How are they determining "objective" attractiveness in order to say that's important? Meems — May 7, You know, I suspect a large part of the reason women feel the need to lie about weight is because men have no idea what different weights look like. Jason S — May 7, That second chart is particularly hard to read. Charles — May 7, The conclusion that "we have pretty much no clue what we actually want in a partner" seems to me to be, at best, a rather gross overstatement of the facts given that the graph shows that for three desired qualities, all three desired qualities are positively correlated with relationship initiation.


  • What Makes Us Click: How Online Dating Shapes Our Relationships : NPR;
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I can't read any of this! Jeff Kaufman — May 7, I've not read it yet, but this is the article that the graph claims as a source: Dr Kate — May 7, I think the message is clear: Dr Kate — May 7, Sorry - no idea why that posted twice! Jonathan — May 8, Women are more obsessed with looks than men, and men are money grubbing whores. Caravelle — May 9, Wow, that last graph would merit a post by itself. Women prefer good-looking men to high-earning men.

Katie McCready — June 13, I can only speak for myself but in my experience, the one big thing people do wrong when they start online dating is to try to appeal to as many people as they can.

Love and dating after the Tinder revolution

Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Further, conservatives are not simply more selective in general; they are specifically selective with regard to race. Do these stated preferences predict real behaviors? In general, we find that stated preferences are a strong predictor of a behavioral preference for same-race partners, and that this pattern persists across ideological groups. At the same time, both men and women of all political persuasions act as if they prefer same-race relationships even when they claim not to. As a result, the gap between conservatives and liberals in revealed same-race preferences, while still substantial, is not as pronounced as their stated attitudes would suggest.

What Makes Us Click

We conclude by discussing some implications of our findings for the broader issues of racial homogamy and segregation. Department of Computer Science, Stanford University. Department of Political Science, Yale University. Graduate School of Business, Stanford University.

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Abstract How do the Internet and social media technology affect our romantic lives? Abstract PDF views. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.


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Department of Sociology, Stanford University Email: June 6, Accepted: August 8, Editors: By Blake Fisher on January 21, in Articles. Comment on Anderson et al.