According to the U. The topic is a popular one on Reddit , where older men themselves explain why they were attracted to a much younger woman. There's a simplicity to relationships with younger women. One thing I will never understand is how relationships can't be serious and about sex. They can only be one or the other. Women like men who are older because they're more masculine and usually have more money. Girls in their 20's want to be impressed. Girls tend to have lower expectations. In some cases, it is likely a defense against aging — a feeling that being with someone so much younger makes one feel younger — and may connect the man to the youth culture of today," Mager says.
And for others, on occasion, I do think genuine love can emerge. All of these things serve to strengthen relationships. Given the differences in values, views and often life goals for a year-old versus a year-old, I would say that generally these romances are unlikely to last. For a relationship to work, there has to be a mutual understanding and communication which is much harder — though not impossible — to find when the generational divide is so wide.
Personal Space is Bravo's home for all things "relationships," from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates. Skip to main content. You May Also Like Your browser does not support iframes. I look at it like this, young women for young men, older women for older men.
It makes since that way. Let young men play, you had your chance lol! I love telling people my dad was older than my grandfather and then watching them try to figure that one out. My father was 29 years older than my mother. My dad was 65 when I was born. Are you the grandfather?
When I was 20 I always dated older women, like 25, they were always sexier, and more sophisticated. When I was 35 it felt weird asking out a 25 year old. Many men get better with age. My girlfriend right now is 24, we have been together for a year. When she first told her parents about us, they were concerned, but after a while, she told me, that they saw how happy she was, not just with me but how a more mature outlook on life made her happier all around.
Men who take good care of themselves are better often in better shape at 35 and 45 than they were at Who can give the kids more mature and calm advice. Women have a biological window to have kids that ends fairly early, but men, in my opinion, tend to be better fathers later in life. American society would like to convince us that we should all date someone close to our own age, but the truth is age is just a number.
The most important thing for me is whether we feel safe sharing how we feel; being raw with each other. And we are connected by the ability to share those feelings. They have their own issues to deal with. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. I agree with you that many guys are in better shape later on in life.
People just need to get over the stigma and their own limiting beliefs. Alternatively, they might know my age already, and then withdraw at any hint of things becoming more ongoing or intimate. Maybe not for themselves, but for what their friends or family might think? I think that you are exactly right that often women this age may feel that friends, family or society in general will not accept you as a couple.
This is one reason why famous older guys can get away with dating younger women much more easily. I think it shows insecurity. They all squirm a bit with discomfort. This goes for the reverse as well. For example, joking that my tie is as old as they are which is often true. I find some women love the maturity, confidence and things that we considered normal in our generation. Flowers, opening car doors, hand written cards with love notes inside.
Often you can get an idea of which women are confident enough to go for what they want despite what friends and family think by susing out their views on other similar subjects. Please take a look at my modest blog. My few post are just a few added prices of advice.
To overcome that issue I usually will take a girl out for drinks. Then when we are both sauced up i take her into a bathroom stall and whip it out. Whether or not you can take care of them very much IS. I am 25 years old and I have always been attracted to older men. My ex-boyfriend is in his late 40s.
It is not really about the age, it is all about preference. On second place, older men go crazy especially on dating sites, they want to make up for all the years they stayed married. This is my WORST story about dating an older man; I went out with a 51 year old man 3 months ago; he was gorgeous, intelligent, well-educated but he turned out to be the biggest liar I have ever known.
It was sickening, he would lie about everything. First, he said he was 48 and he was He said he lied about his age for fear of rejection. Second, he told me he was divorced, a month later, his wife called me, and told me about their problems, his infidelities, other women. This man had more secrets than the CIA. In fact, his wife made a conference call with all the women who he had been involved, the conclusion was he was not capable of being faithful to any of us.
I immediately went to get checked up, as it turned out we were infected with a STD. I would have given him another chance because I really like him. I love older men but it is almost impossible to find a MAN who is free of drama from their past, it is always fun and romantic at the beginning; but they have history and most of the times they are just repeating the same story over and over again. I am currently in an online relationship with a 38 year old lady.
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I am 68, but a young healthy 68 year old. We are getting together later this month. We have had a lot of discussion about our age difference. She says consistently that age is just a number and if you are happy together, why not be together. We have a lot in common and ate going to go for it. What about younger men? We all have our own preferences and some women happy to like younger men, too. Many of the older women who desire younger men are for sexual purposes.
They want to have an awesome sexual experience with. I obviously agree with Nick, to disagree would be denying what IS. Security and stability, which is over and above all the biggest motivator of women. Fact is in western countries Europe and America a man has to quite wealthy to be able to date younger women where as in Asia or Latin America you just need to have a job.
You act like its riding around on a bicycle. Dear Sam, everything is relative. Not at all Sam. My fundamental point was women cannot help but to be attracted to security and stability and items and signals that suggest stability and security sure gets their attention. You see my point? Just like you and I women notice them as well but unlike you and I their mind quickly extrapolates what they see with wealth, stability and the good life.
Yea, I see what you mean. It shows perceived social status which is attractive to women. I disagree with your type of people theory — there are a lot more shades of grey in there. Most people are not black-and-white like that. They may go after what they want in certain areas of their life, in certain situations, or with certain people. At many points in your life, you WILL look to or hesitate because of some external source for approval. Just look at the video of the guy with a Bugatti asking women straight out if they want to have sex with him.
The more poverty you live in, the more important that security and status becomes. But in places like the states and parts of Europe, you do NOT need to be wealthy at all to date hot girls. Some of the best guys I know with women are not traditionally attractive or wealthy. Personality and confidence go a long way.
Yes, a girl sleep and date a wealthy guy. But if you want to ever have a woman who truly desires you and has a deep emotional connection for the long-term, you need more than that. It all comes down to what one brings to the table. The man brings safety, stability, security and ability to provide for the children and the woman brings youth, beauty and sex. Then once you provide the security the other things such as your good looks, good sex, help with cleaning etc. Women can put up with the lack of bonuses if security is there but not the other way around. These last two comments are very misleading in my experience.
And are also phrased in a vrey one-sided way. Greed is a common human trait, which is easily participated in by both men and women. Happiness is a much more universal goal, and there are many more ways that people persue it than a search for stability, influenced by biology. After a certain point the goal of just heaping up more and more wealth only interests those with a certain mindset.
Yes, we all want stability, and to not stress over being able to afford things that we want, or want to provide for our children, like a good education. Then whether you are a decent human being, passionate about something, and able to care for others becomes everything. There are billionaires who will go bankrupt this year. His wife is a 10 by ANY standards. He will still be one of the most open, genuine and passionate people I have ever known. And it is clear why his wife loves him.
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Wealth is not stability! If you think it is you are just kidding yourself. Actually most crime and murder is committed by the poor mostly amongst each other and the fastest way to help the needy is by not being one of them. I dated recently with 22 year old girl — at first it was lots of fun, but after a couple of dates I got bored. I generally find women women in their mid-to-upper twenties the most attractive, too. Hey Nick, I am from India can you suggest some tips how to attract any women or seduce any women in Indian circumstances?
Thanks Nick, This is a great article. It is one of the things that I have struggled with. I am 43 and make the most connections with women that are Women my age would look at me with disdain, I even had one woman my age spread a bunch of rumors about me regarding this female. This deeply hurt me and I wondered if there was something wrong with me. This article got me to remember all my anthropology classes and this makes perfect sense.
Women my age are kind of boring to me. I like to dance, love new music, technology etc. Sitting at home and watching TV are just not an option for me. I just feel I have more in common with younger women.
Older Men Who Like Younger Women Aren't Creeps
Its not just a physical attraction thing. I am not going to worry about it anymore.
I like what I like and if she is consenting, like you indicated. Who really cares what anyone thinks, as long as we are happy in our relationship. There is nothing wrong with finding a something woman attractive. If you read Daring Greatly you will see that we all have our vulnerabilities. For women seeing an older established man with a younger woman has the ability to make many women very insecure.
I have a great friend who is a 24 year old smoking hot girl. Thanks Mark for the encouragement. I really never thought of it that way. I am going to pick up that book and read it. That the more vulnerable I am the more connections I make, when I act like everything is perfect or start to brag about my career etc.. I am in recovery and was talking openly about it to a younger woman at a retail store about, I got the feeling she was into me, but my insecurity about younger women and what people would think caused me to overlook getting her number.
I am going to stop judging what they may be looking for and just take some risk. What is life without risk….. For all of you older guys out there that date and hook up with younger women, do you ever sometimes get women your own age hating on you, taking shots at you for dating younger women?
Its not just women our own age who are bothered. When I was 44 I had a 27 year old girlfriend who would get upset that the girl I dated before her was The girl I dated after the 27 year old was 41 and she was just jealous of all other women regardless of their age. To be happy we all have to live the life we have, not the life we want. Nature gifts young women with the power of a sex appeal that peaks early and falls off more quickly. Nature gifts men with a long low curve. The 41 year old I dated was one of the most beautiful women I have known.
She took great care of herself, and she won the genetic lottery by being tall, and having a beautiful face. The truth is we all get handed a life that comes with strengths and challenges. These saying all describe a truth. I say enjoy being a guy, be genuine and honest with others. But most importantly be honest with yourself. Ignore haters, they are always there to bring you down.
But where are they when you are down and need to be cheered up? I think he knew they were just jealous of us being together. My husband is 22 years older than me. We met when I was 19 and he was I just turned When we first started dating, women his age were really rude to me. I never imagined marrying an older man or even dating one , but we were attracted to one another and it works for us. And to be honest, when I was 19 into my30s, women would snarl at me, make remarks or rumors, because men flocked me to me or gave me consideration.
They still do, but to a lesser degree. It will always happen with you because I would imagine that you are beautiful and made a life with a man who appreciates you. Because I met a guy recently who told me he did not get his very first girlfriend until the age of 31, despite being happy that he finally has a girlfriend, he told me he still gets jealous, envious of guys, men that had girlfriends earlier in their life. The men I met in my age group at that time could not keep a date, had dozens of girlfriends, stood me up if they had something more interesting to do and so on.
I had many boyfriends, but my steady guy wound up being a man 10 years my senior. He showed up when he said he would, opened the door, treated me with respect and made me feel relaxed and comfortable. He was also funny, smart, kind and loving. Obviously if a man is interested in having children he would want a woman of a suitable age. And obviously if a woman is interested in having a child she would want a man of suitable means. All the rest is whatever makes you happy. This business about what is socially acceptable or not is a bunch of baloney.
There are all types of couples out there of all ages and appearances. When I see couples who are happy together I am glad for them, regardless of their age, race, income or any such thing. Good for them if they are happy together. I found the comments and the article interesting however I have a tiny consideration which is missing. People love who they love and should be open to the unexplored possibilities.
Check out divorce rates — they are highest amongst the very poor, the very rich and those marriages with the largest age gap. Women who date older men trade in youth for success fair enough. Men who date much younger women trade beauty for brains and experience fair enough but most of these marriages do not last. AND guys please consider this. Women know aging can be tough but we want you to look great too! If you dated black date white if you dated asian date latino what ever there are many good looking people in the world who are also smart and loving who you would get along just fine with TAKE A CHANCE: Remember love is fragile — like friendship and people love is magical.
The next time you are at a gala, the farmers market, a restaurant, the supermarket, the opera, the dentist: He is extremely smart, somewhat nerdy but great to be around, dates much, much younger women and seems really happy. He seems to really attract very young Asian women, and cycles through them so fast that I sometimes get their names confused. Say in the age range They seem happy and he seems happy and they sure are sexy and fun to look at — I try not to ogle around my wife but still — and certainly very nice.
Really want to leave him,because i get tired of having to look at his old ugly face and body,but the money is still here,also tired of having to pretending to love him. I have to admit that i have always been way more attracted by older guys. My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me Which is for that age okay I think.
Since we broke up I had enough time to travel, explore and meet new people. I look pretty mature for my age and am very outgoing and just a light hearted girl and never had any Problems to get to know people better. However it is always me approaching men no matter the age. Currently I am 21 and dating a 48 year old.
We are not together because of his money or my youth but it is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me.
We can Talk for hours, he is very spontaneous, open minded and makes me feel secure and Loved. He still thinks i am perfect. Guys my age told me to lose weight or get my tits done and so on. I just love being with him and enjoy every moment of it. We know each other for about 5 years and have always been friends.
Turned out he felt the Same but was just too shy because of the huge age gap. As my username suggests? I should just stand up for myself, and tell them to keep their opinion to themselves. It makes me laugh. Which one are you? I have stopped listening to what my friends and family think of age-old relationships. Even if they ended up disowning me. Enough said for now. Older men are so full of themselves, offering unasked advice, trying to impress you instead of being fun, trying to change you, causing me and a lot of my friends just stop dating men who are more then 2 years older.
Personally I started dating only younger guys 2 years ago and probably will never date an older guy again. Also we have the same reasons to date a younger guy as you have to date a younger woman. Younger guys are better looking, less bitter, more stamina and generally more fun.
Also the ignorance of younger guys is sooo damn cute, it makes them more lovable. Yes that is their inmaturity that is. I have a masters degree as almost all of my girlfriends and I work at the financing side of property development, even then older guys look down on me. Until the moment I tell what I make a year and then they get resentful. I own my house, a nice car etc. I just want a fun guy who can keep up with me, in bed, clubbing or traveling. So yes my current boyfriend is 5 years younger then me 19 and yes we are equal.
As simple as that. I keep myself in good shape, have a full head of blond hair, drive a Jaguar convertible, own a small business, my home and know how to cook a nice dinner, what candles are for and Sinatra on in the other room. I get told all the time that I look 20 years younger than I am. As for my preference for a younger woman, I also am a swirler. I, I, I, tends to bore her unless she asks about me.
Still, keep it short. Sinatra sang a song that tells the story of my life and makes me feel a twinge of sadness. I usual date guys around my age bracket. This is all just my opinion. Meaning if women liked younger men. I am 55 and really like younger women — like I do fancy women my own age too and everything inbetween but if I was given the choice it would be a young one every time. My sense of style has improved, because my years of chasing children are complete though I can still reproduce — my focus is more on me than on anybody else.
Women flip out about younger women, because people are competitive and they know the best males will go for the younger, healthier, more attractive mates. Hypocritically, the best females all flock to the best male mates—which are almost all alphas. So hearing the preaching from the old bags is doubly annoying and naive. So Nick, while I appreciate how candid you were in this article, I call BS on your comments about your personal preference. Some women grow into their looks as well and go from cute to more stunning and feminine. As I am not preoccupied with reproducing and seek sexual and emotional intimacy as a means of truly sharing, I think this makes me and others like me more appealling.
The 42 year old was one of my favorites. She was elegant, witty, acomplished, very sexual and drop dead gorgeous. We dated for almost a year. What you see in magazines? What your church tells you to look for? Not the ytpe they would actually choose to date. I always lusted after the bikini model looking women. I needed to experience all there was to experience so I could choose. I still find a fitness model the most beautiful to look at.
But as for someone I want to date, the softer more feminine body is a more desirable all around choice for me.
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This same principal goes for personality, age, maturity level, intelligence, etc. Only people making either experienced or inexperienced choices. This is such a well written, insightful, and honest piece. Men should not be shamed for their natural desire to be with women much younger than themselves. I am often saddened when I watch my forty-something single female friends attempt to date. They have such a difficult time accepting that their window of attractiveness ended ten years ago and that they are wasting their time trying to find a partner. However, I think once women learn to accept and live with this, and use their later years to focus on careers, hobbies, philanthropy, and the many aspects of life which are just as fulfilling as romantic relationships, the over forty female race will find themselves much happier.
Older men who want younger women are not creeps. They are normal, and women just need to get over it!! I lift weights,swim,hike,love to swim at the beach……. I agree, for some couples, age really is just a number. If you have chemistry, you have chemistry end of. Taking your point of half your age plus 7, then take a 50 year old guy. My maths tells me with that equation he should date a 32 year old. I think most guys are both realistic and practical, I think most guys like to stay in their comfort zone and be with someone who shares their own values and views on life, regardless of age,.